Dreams Realized
by neekabe
Summary: TrowaMidii....psuedo-sequal to Dreams of Flight, She has no idea where he is but wishes she knew. He knows where she is but isn't quite willing to interfere with her life, untill....... (also eaten by ff.net)


I do not own Gundam Wing and am making no profit off of this fic. 

Title: Dreams Realized

Author: neekabe

Pairings: Trowa+Midii

Warnings: excessive sap... well my version of excessive sap, which just means that no one dies ^_^

Authors notes: yay! My Trowa/Midii muses came back for a visit. Just when I had exams and no time.... They have evil timing *glares at muses* 

Anway this is the result: A 'long awaited' sequal to "Dreams of Flight"... only 4 months late. Don't worry about not reading the other though, it's not really that related. Any comments critisims, thoughts can be directed to neekabe@canoemail.com ^_^

Dreams Realized 

Midii sighed as she let the towel puddle around her feet. She pulled the second towel from her still damp hair, allowing its golden length to tumble down her back. Stretching she felt tension drain from her strong shoulders. It felt so nice to be clean, uninhibited. Free. She grabbed up a pair of pyjamas from a drawer and pulled them on, wrapping herself in the warm, soft flannel. 

Since the wars had ended, Midii had tried to fade back into normalcy. Had tried. She had thought that since everyone had lived through the same wars, everyone would be a bit different, so she should be able to fit in, being a bit different. She was wrong. 

She had learned too much during the war and the habits of self-preservation died hard. She dared not rely on others; she refused to get to comfortable in any situation. A spy through and through, she could look normal and blend in with minimal difficulty but she never felt normal. She always knew she would not be one of them. Every once in a while she could believe that there was no difference. She would meet someone that seemed to understand, and then she could feel normal. But, something would happen, something would be said or done and she would respond without thought. And once again she would realize that she could never be one of them. It had taken to much pain and hardship to learn the skills that had kept her alive during the war. The reactions were ingrained into her very being. They would not be forgotten. 

Midii did like the independence. She loved the feeling of freedom it gave when she knew that there was nothing to keep her anywhere. There was no one to hold her down. She didn't need those people who would just be a liability to her. 

But still there was some part of her that wanted acceptance; acceptance by someone who could understand. The men she had dated didn't see her desperate need for independence; they couldn't look beyond the person she was projecting and see her. No one seemed to realize how she lived and what she had been through. She wanted someone who she could feel safe with, who knew that she wasn't normal and wasn't expecting her to act as such. Someone who could understand why she checked each room over for surveillance devices and secondary escape roots. Someone who knew what it was like to live in constant fear. 

Someone like _him_. 

Once again her gaze strayed to her computer. To her chance, if she could find the courage to try. 

Each night she dreamed of him, dreamed that he would understand that he was the one she needed. And each day she stared at the computer, trying to work up the courage to find him and do something about her dreams. 

*** 

Trowa stared out into the rain. He knew where she was now. He knew. It wasn't far but... He shook his head, closing his eyes. Just listening to the drumming rain. He knew where she was but how could be enter her life? How could he just show up… ruin her chance of normalcy? How could he even know if he _could_ love her, trust her, like she deserved? But another question nagged him all the harder. What if he never knew? 

There was always the chance that she was alone to and waiting. He laughed silently at his foolishness. He had learned long ago that things didn't work out that way, that love doesn't make things right. He could no longer believe that love would conquer all adversity. Why would she want him after all? Even when they were both just children he could tell she would be beautiful. Now she must have her choice of men. He could guess at what she would be like. At ten she could hold her own, now with her skills honed by life.…who wouldn't want her? Self-sufficient and strong; someone who you could trust to watch your back. Someone who would understand. 

He continued to sit, staring out the window. Dreaming of what might be. He would not take the next step… could not. He didn't have the right, and, he admitted silently to himself, didn't have the courage. What if she already had someone? What if she rejected him? Then he couldn't even dream of the chance, because he would know that it was as false hope. Then he would know for sure that there was no chance. 

The scrape of a chair brought him out of his contemplations. Duo plopped down in front of him, sitting backwards in the chair. He folded his arms across the back and dropped his chin to them. Then he stared at Trowa.  "Go find her" he enunciated the words with great care, exaggerating each one. "Huh?" Trowa's head turned up saw the gleam in Duo's eyes. "Just go to her house and see her. Pretend to be a pizza guy or something. Just see her _then_ you can wait for something to happen, wait for fate or whatever it is you're waiting for now. But give her the chance at least to choose. Maybe she's waiting for you to." With that Duo swung one leg over the back of the chair and walked away, whistling. 

Trowa shook his head, but could not dismiss his friend's words. Partially because he knew what would happen if he did. Duo would give him no rest. At least if he went he could say he had done something. And… and maybe Duo was right. Maybe… 

He pulled on his jacket, walked out into the rain. The walk was too short and too long at the same time. Too short, he needed more time to prepare what he was going to say, it wasn't enough time. Too long there was too much time to second guess himself, He had no idea what to do. What did he think he was doing? He was a mercenary, not someone

who could just waltz into a girl's life and sweep her of her feet. He didn't know the first thing about relationships... about _people_. 

All to soon he found himself standing just across the street from her. And there in the shadows and in the rain, he watched and waited in indecision. 

Night after night he stood there and watched. It became part of his routine, watching and hoping. Never quite able to find the courage to take that next step. But he could see glimpses of her every once in a while. It was just enough to keep him coming back, just enough to keep his dreams alive. 

*** 

Midii was angry. She couldn't find him. She had tried her best, used all the skills she had gained during her time as a spy, and she had found no hint of where he might have been. She could follow him during the wars, he had been the one they called Trowa Batron, the pilot of Heavyarms. Her skills were good enough to gain a basic idea of his life through the wars. But then after that, he just disappeared. No records, no nothing, simply gone without a trace. She lashed out, heaving a pillow across the room. It hit the far wall with a satisfying thump. She smiled wickedly at the pillow. 

As she moved to retrieve it, her anger momentarily sated, she risked a glance at out the window. He was still there. That person had been watching her building for over a week now. She forgot the pillow for a moment. It might have been possible that he was watching something else, someone else, but it was better safe than sorry. Tomorrow night…. 

The pillow hit the wall again. 

*** 

Once again, Trowa went out into the night to watch and hope; to stand his nightly vigil of indecision. 

He had just barely placed himself, when he felt the familiar shape of a handgun's muzzle pressed into the small of his back. 

He froze; his mind raced in all directions all once. How did this person get that close with out him noticing? How could he be so negligent as to let himself fall into a routine? What did they want? How long did he have before he had to do something drastic to get out of the situation? 

The person holding the gun spoke, interrupting his train of thought then completely derailing it.  "You've been watching that building for the past week and a half. I want to know why." The voice was honey-sweet, soft and strong at the same time, and stole all thought. 

"Midii" he breathed. Just as he had imagined her, a slightly older version of the girl he had known. He started to turn towards her, his hands raised, but stopped when the muzzle of the gun transferred itself to his temple without ever seeming to leave a vital area. 

"How do you know that name? And you still need to answer my original question. Think carefully. If I think you're lying, I will kill you." 

"Midii" Trowa repeated then paused. Berating himself for being so stupid. Was her name all he could say? _Just answer her question fool!_ But then, why was he waiting outside of her apartments? What could he tell her? "I…I just wanted to see you again. But I had no right to enter your life, so I watched." 

He felt the hand holding the gun move slightly. Now was the moment. Would she remember him? He held his breath. The gun was removed and the person backed off a few steps. Still not completely trusting. Trowa turned to face her completely and saw her face light up with cautious hope. 

"Nanashi?.... Trowa?" 

"You remembered." A small smile graced his features. "I was afraid you wouldn't" 

A thousand and one things were flying through Midii's head. He had been here all along. Watching her. He had found her. That meant he had been looking for her. Her heart sang. How could she have forgotten that silent boy who had consumed her mind everyday since they had parted? And now he was here! Standing right in front of her. She approached him cautiously. "I had been looking for you too. Apparently you're significantly you're better at hiding your tracks than I am" 

Trowa started at the small woman before him. She had been looking for him? She had really thought that much of him? Could he even dare hope that might be willing to try? She was so small and so strong. He just wanted to feel her in his arms. Wanted nothing more that to taste her, spend every moment with her how. His arms ached to hold her, but

instead he answered her veiled question. "I've had more practice, and Heero working to cover our tracks" 

"Heero?" Midii responded. All she wanted was to keep the conversation going. Keep him here in front of her so she could stare at him and hope and dream once again. If he left now... would he ever come back? This might be her only chance, but she didn't know if he wanted what she did. Didn't know who he was now after so long. Did she dare take the first step? Would that be too bold? Worse, would it scare him off? 

"One of my comrades from the wars" He just wanted to keep talking; keep her out here with him. It wasn't far to her apartment and if she left that would be it. He would leave it all up to her. If she walked away, he would let her go. He wouldn't interfere if she didn't want him. He had given himself this one chance, after that… he would stay out of her life if she wanted. 

"Oh…" 

There was a pause then in the conversation and Trowa cast about desperately for something to say. Anything that would keep her from turning away, going back, leaving his life once again. He would leave her alone but that didn't mean he wanted her to leave. If he could keep her around for longer, even a moment more, then all the maybes were

still alive. Once she left, there was no more hope. 

"Would you like to meet them?" He threw the question out there recklessly. He had never been good at small talk, he had never needed to be. But now… 

"Okay" Midii leapt at the chance to spend more time with him. He wanted to dance, to sing with the happiness she felt now. This would take time. They would have to walk there, walk back, and spend time introducing. All that time she would be with him. 

"It's not far. Only about twenty minutes." Trowa had no idea what the others would think about this. Well he had some idea, Duo would be thrilled, he winced inwardly at the though of the teasing he would now be subject to from the braided one. The others? Well he would see soon enough. 

Midii nodded. Distance didn't matter, the longer the better in her mind. The longer they spent travelling the more time she got to spend with him. The more time she spent the more she got to know who he had become after the wars. Every moment spent with him only increased the odds of him accepting her. _Accepting her_. She smiled, almost giddy with the thought. 

Lost in thought the two walked off the path, into the night, together. Both lost in their dreams just thrilled with the simple fact of the others presence. This was hope. This was a chance to believe again. 

Sometime during the walk, her hand found his, or his found hers. In the end it didn't matter who began. 

Belief creates miracles. 

***end***


End file.
